Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.

I don’t remember many of my first days of anything, just a handful at most. What I do remember, though, is that they can be filled with heightened emotions and confusion.

First days of school? I’ve been scared, excited, indifferent, but always at least a little confused. Moving up from elementary to middle to high school came with new buildings and layouts. Backpack hooks and desks with cubbies to lockers that were changed every year with new combinations and locations. One particular first day of school we were being marched off the buses, passing between lines of smiling and waving teachers. Mom had sent me off with one of those multi-packs of boxed Kleenex, and as I walked into the building a teacher grabbed it and said something like “let me take that for you.” It wasn’t until several years ago that I realized, while laying in bed, that that teacher took advantage of the first day excitement and confusion and yoinked it from me because I wouldn’t know any better. Smooth, unknown teacher. Real smooth.

First day at work? Each job I started filled with nervousness. Unknown territory and unknown people who are likely to know the job so well that I’ll just look foolish for even trying. In recent years I’ve learned that people are just as likely to make mistakes and are just trying to do their best, and I’ve been fortunate that where I’m at now is a job surrounded by people who all give each other grace to be human. I mention this because there is one particular memory from my current job, not from my first day but definitely within the first week or two, where I learned something about the culture of the organization that didn’t sit right with me. Professional or more formal meetings are typically opened with a short prayer, and I’m not religious at all. Previous office experience at different companies never had anything like it, so it was weird and I felt completely out of place to the point I actually texted my old boss about coming back. I’m glad he never answered, though, because this has been a great place to work even though I’m not religious.

Moving on to something else, what about the first day in a new apartment? Up until about the age of 25 I had always lived with family or friends, so when I got my first apartment and lived alone it was a strange experience. It was quiet. There was an air of emptiness or loneliness the first night, along with the confusion and sadness that came with such a drastic change. I went from living with my brother and his wife and kids, to living with nobody. They had helped me move and not 20 seconds after setting boxes down in my new apartment my nephew had a marker in hand ready to draw on the wall. We caught him quickly, only one red line (and thankfully it was dry-erase) but after that blip of excitement, energy, and laughter, they left and I had no idea what to do with myself in the silence.

Well, that’s how I look at the first days of things. Excitement, nervousness and anxiety, sadness, and confusion. But, we get used to it and move ever forward to the next first day.