Are you a good judge of character?

I feel that for someone to be introspective enough to decide whether or not they “are a good judge of character” they need to take a few things into consideration.

There are two perspectives in these kinds of interactions. Who is “the judge” and who is “the judged” in the situation? What kind of history do they have with each other directly? What about indirectly, such as word of mouth reputation? How perceptive are they to each other’s words and actions? Can they recall situations in their past where they encountered someone similar? Do they match up somehow to predetermine someone’s opinion BEFORE they get to know each other to any degree?

All that being said, if I were to apply those kinds of questions to myself, I would say I haven’t always been a great judge of character, but as I get older I improve upon that aspect of myself.

Looking at the questions above, if I picked out a couple in a specific order I could tell you that my ‘strategies’ have changed for interacting with people and making presumptions about their character. I used to be a lot more trusting. Now I’m more guarded and pay attention to body language and tone of voice. I try to evaluate their actions and see if they match up to what they’re saying or have said in the past. Do I REALLY need to share specifics with that person? Maybe I let my guard down and overshare a little bit, to see what they do with that information or how they act towards me later. Do they trust me enough to let their guard down a little in return?

If I summed everything up, I’d say I’m still not the best judge of character, but my skepticism makes me take my time and not “jump head first into the Kool-aid without knowing the flavor.”