When are you most happy?

What a timely prompt! I have a fresh example from last night of one of those happiest moments.

Do you ever have moments where, for one reason or another, you and everyone around you burst into laughter? Not just like chuckling at a joke, but full on “I can’t breathe, holy shit that was amazing” kind of laughing that lasts for no less than a solid minute? Now, imagine sitting around a table with some of your best friends and playing cards for nearly six hours. That was my night after work yesterday.

My roommate and a couple of our friends like to get together and play Magic: The Gathering, specifically the Commander format. We used to try meeting once a week, but life happens so we take what we can get and typically, when we play Commander, a game can run for 2-3 hours (we’re not speed playing or top tier competitive, so we take our time evaluating and asking questions.) Sometimes it’s one game, sometimes two. Last night we played three games and didn’t get done until just after midnight.

These game nights are definitely some of the happiest times for me. Playing for hours, catching up on the latest drama from work, and cracking jokes that get responses ranging from “polite chuckle” to the infectious fit of giggling because “that was so stupid, I don’t know why I can’t stop laughing.”

That last bit is important, because my siblings and I will have those moments as well and I usually spend time with them every weekend for lunch/supper.

We could be just sitting around watching TV with the kiddos and chit chatting when someone says something that makes everyone bust a gut. A specific example of this was when I was taking a turn playing Party Animals on my brother’s Xbox. I had already played the game quite a bit from beta weekends years ago, so I had a solid understanding of how to play, but when the game finally released they had added something I wasn’t completely ready for. I was doing great on the submarine level, knocked off most of my opponents, and was barely hanging on to the last bits of antenna as the level submerged itself beneath the waves. I watched my little otter characters head dip beneath the waves and said “Good, I’m low enough they can’t hit me.” The moment the last words left me, someone hit me with a biscuit and knocked me out. Everyone, the kids included, burst out laughing. I was only half laughing but seeing the perfect comedic timing and the happiness it brought my family was more than enough in that moment to make up for the hit to my silly gaming pride. Totally worth it.

It’s always these moments that are the happiest for me because for that brief time nothing else matters.

What was the last thing you did for play or fun?

Well, this should be fairly straightforward considering one of my primary hobbies is playing video games.

Yesterday after work I didn’t game because I was busy baking all evening. The day before that (Monday) I was too tired after work and needed a nap, then I spent a couple hours messing around and wrapping gifts. Sunday would have been the last time I did something for “play or fun” when I was playing the game Once Human running around collecting crafting and building materials, exploring new areas and trying to puzzle out how to get to hard to reach places.

Typically, I play games four or five days a week, for at least a couple of hours each day. Although, something to note, I play Wordle and Connections daily and share my results with my siblings, so if I really had to count that as my last thing I did for fun then that was roughly 20 minutes ago as of writing this post. So I guess on that note, I technically play everyday.

List your top 5 grocery store items.

Picking a “Top #” of anything is usually accompanied by some kind of categories or qualifiers, but grocery store items? This is wide open for interpretation.

Grocery stories small and large across the United States often have a wide variety of products ranging from non-consumable to all manner of fresh, boxed, canned, or frozen foods. So how does someone pick their Top 5? You could go with your most frequent purchases, or from very specific areas of the store like the bakery.

In no particular order, let us just run through the way I processed the prompt. Top 5’s without rankings.

Meat and seafood counter? Ground beef, chicken thighs and breasts, pineapple bratwurst, pork chops.

Bakery? Cookies, cupcakes, layer cakes, cream cheese brownies, scotcharoos.

Dairy products? Eggs, whole milk, sour cream, shredded cheese, heavy whipping cream.

Deli counter? Fresh sliced roast beef, garlic roast beef, smoked provolone, swiss, kerry gold butter. Yes, I know that the last one should probably go with dairy products but my grocery store stocks it at the deli counter.

Fresh produce? Onions, potatoes, shallots, avocados, garlic.

Dry goods? Well, this one would be where things can get out of hand. What gets included in this category? A lot. Someone might argue that canned goods could be counted in the dry goods category. They’d be wrong, in my opinion. So, the top 5 dry goods for me would include rice, ramen, instant mashed potatoes, dry beans, flour.

Canned goods? Campbell’s Chunky soups, Progresso soups, cream of mushroom or cream of chicken (it’s a toss up), Veg-All, beans.

Frozen goods? Ice cream, pizza, Banquet meals or bowls, chicken nuggets, frozen fruit (typically pineapple chunks, I like to use them in smoothies so I can use less ice.)

I think I’ll stop there and actually make a grocery list, because it’s time to go to the store again.

Describe a man who has positively impacted your life.

I’ve talked about my dad and younger brother before, and how they’ve impacted my life, but I wanted to tackle today’s prompt from a different angle.

Can someone do something objectively bad and have a positive impact on another person?

I bring this up because of my older brother. He was the first born and likely fell into that stereotypical category of “highest expectations and pressure” that we see. He has had a lot of ups and downs in his life, most of them self-imposed, but a few of them were most definitely the result of external influences.

When our mom passed away, he had been in college and our sister was still in high school, so it fell on his shoulders to help my younger brother and I with getting to and from school, or taking us to places that we couldn’t otherwise get to by walking. Dad was busy working, and his commute would often have him home around 6:00PM or later, so we didn’t spend a lot of time with him, and my older brother would have to help with grocery shopping as well. Years later he admitted that it felt really awkward and uncomfortable for him whenever my younger brother or myself would ask him when we were going grocery shopping next, as if he had somehow assumed a parental figure role in our lives.

Now, what I talked about above isn’t the “objectively bad” thing. He was doing the best he could, and the pressure probably ate him a bit and helped cause the problems he faced later in life that played into the way I see him as having a positive impact on my life.

My dad remarried a few years later, and after work was hit and miss for consistency, he eventually landed a job in another state for an old boss of his. This is what caused our family to move to South Dakota. My older brother was already living independently, and so he stayed back, which we ended up making use of because we were having trouble selling the house we had just moved out of in Colorado. He was able to do touch up work, paint rooms, and get the house more presentable. At some point in this process, he got into trouble. Up to that point I didn’t know he had trouble with alcohol, so it came as a surprise for me, still in high school and not old enough to drink, that he could get into legal trouble like that.

Eventually, we got him back with us living in South Dakota. He had no license and no car. He had to go through AA classes and get a job, and by this point I was just starting college. So we kind of come full circle. Now, I was the one driving him places when he needed the help to get back on his feet.

So, this is where I lean into this idea of twisting the prompt. I had a front row seat to the trouble and recovery my older brother endured, and I used that as a source of influence for things I SHOULDN’T do if I want things to go well in my life. I was careful with any drinking I did, and indeed, I didn’t even drink much after the age of 25 and even less than that now. That’s how I see he had a positive impact on my life and the way I see the world.

After all of this, I began to keep an eye out for objectively bad things that people do that hurt themselves and others around them so I could use that to inform me of things not to do, no matter how much “fun” or “enjoyment” they might bring to someone in the moment.

Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?

Long-term planning is something I’ve struggled with, even a year at a time. So in general I don’t think about what my life will be like in those terms.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have expectations or anticipate things, but more so that I never stick to a set plan. A year ago I half expected to still be roughly where I was at at that time, and I was right. Still living with one of my best friends, still working the same job, still going about my days and weeks the same as I had been. I guess the only difference is that I hadn’t been thinking ahead to NaNoWriMo 2023 and digging back into writing consistently for the blog. That’s been a major change, because it changes my priorities a little bit for how I choose to spend my time. For example, as I’m typing this up I see some friends in a voice channel on Discord, and one of them had put out an open call to play games (this time Lethal Company) to which I usually jump right in with them. Instead, I’m choosing to type this up first, to meet my consistency goals, and then we’ll see where I’m at in maybe 20 minutes.

Summed up for today’s prompt, no I’m not quite where I pictured myself to be. A year from now will likely have the same outcome with maybe some minor changes, but we’ll just have to see where the year takes me.

What cities do you want to visit?

Thanks to the internet I have made friends all over the globe at various points in my life, so naturally I want to visit the countries and cities they call home.

There’s also FoodTube, so I want to go visit specific places and restaurants purely for the amazing looking food.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the time or funding to go to all these places.

For a short list, though, here’s the top of my priority visit list:

• St. John’s, Newfoundland, Canada
• Austin and Dallas in Texas
• Atlanta and Savannah in Georgia
  
• Denver, Broomfield, Fort Collins, and Loveland in Colorado

After all that? No idea. There are several places I’d like to visit but I’m not prioritizing them.

St. John’s has a large group of friends I’ve made through Twitch that I have spent countless hours playing games with. I was actually planning a trip out there earlier in the year but funding didn’t pan out because of other expenses.

Austin and Dallas have a few friends that I’ve made in roughly the same time as the friends in Canada. My roommate and I actually met the one in Austin at TwitchCon in 2019, and although I’ve always wanted to visit Austin already, they moved to the area in the last couple of years so that’s all the more reason to go.

Atlanta and Savannah are in a similar situation to Austin and Dallas, but additionally there is DragonCon in Atlanta and I’ve always wanted to go to that.

Colorado is where I grew up, and I have friends that moved out there that I visit every couple of years or so if they don’t come back to South Dakota to visit family. There’s also great hiking, as well as beer and food that I want to have again.

Someday I’ll get out there again. Someday.

Tell us one thing you hope people say about you.

A bit of a preface for today: I started writing this and got really introspective. I don’t usually like to talk about myself in a way that seems like I have a big ego or think too highly of myself, but in recent months I’ve been reminded that I need to be comfortable with external validation and self-love/respect. So I’m trying to include that in my posts from time to time, in case any noticed.

Today has been a busy day, so I’m getting to this late, but I did have a chance to read the prompt last night before I fell asleep. So I’ve had some time to think this one over and do what I usually do with the daily prompts.

Something that came to mind is how do you interpret this question? Is this about how you want to be remembered in the grand scheme of things, or is this just about small day-to-day interactions that you have with friends, family, or coworkers that lead to them talking about you to strangers?

In my mind, talking about the former option, I don’t know that I will be remembered the way I might envision. I’m no Brandon Sanderson or George R.R. Martin, but would I like to be? Sure! In that scenario I’d hope people say nice things about me and the work I’ve done, or give positive reviews of my books because they inspired someone and that person wanted to share that with a friend. Things like that.

For the latter option, I’d hope for something similar, if a bit more down to earth and ‘normal’. That they might say nice things about me in regards to the way I treat people, always being helpful when asked, taking care of and spending time with my family. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that there might be some people out there who probably said some things about me that I wouldn’t like. Those people might not have been aware at the time that their actions played just as much a part (if not larger) in why our friendships deteriorated and we drifted apart. That being said, I do still hope they would say nice things about me for all that I did and sacrificed for them.

The last thing that came to mind was if there were a way to know all of this, I probably wouldn’t want it, because I don’t want to live with constantly worrying about seeking external validation. I just want to keep moving forward.

Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.

I don’t remember many of my first days of anything, just a handful at most. What I do remember, though, is that they can be filled with heightened emotions and confusion.

First days of school? I’ve been scared, excited, indifferent, but always at least a little confused. Moving up from elementary to middle to high school came with new buildings and layouts. Backpack hooks and desks with cubbies to lockers that were changed every year with new combinations and locations. One particular first day of school we were being marched off the buses, passing between lines of smiling and waving teachers. Mom had sent me off with one of those multi-packs of boxed Kleenex, and as I walked into the building a teacher grabbed it and said something like “let me take that for you.” It wasn’t until several years ago that I realized, while laying in bed, that that teacher took advantage of the first day excitement and confusion and yoinked it from me because I wouldn’t know any better. Smooth, unknown teacher. Real smooth.

First day at work? Each job I started filled with nervousness. Unknown territory and unknown people who are likely to know the job so well that I’ll just look foolish for even trying. In recent years I’ve learned that people are just as likely to make mistakes and are just trying to do their best, and I’ve been fortunate that where I’m at now is a job surrounded by people who all give each other grace to be human. I mention this because there is one particular memory from my current job, not from my first day but definitely within the first week or two, where I learned something about the culture of the organization that didn’t sit right with me. Professional or more formal meetings are typically opened with a short prayer, and I’m not religious at all. Previous office experience at different companies never had anything like it, so it was weird and I felt completely out of place to the point I actually texted my old boss about coming back. I’m glad he never answered, though, because this has been a great place to work even though I’m not religious.

Moving on to something else, what about the first day in a new apartment? Up until about the age of 25 I had always lived with family or friends, so when I got my first apartment and lived alone it was a strange experience. It was quiet. There was an air of emptiness or loneliness the first night, along with the confusion and sadness that came with such a drastic change. I went from living with my brother and his wife and kids, to living with nobody. They had helped me move and not 20 seconds after setting boxes down in my new apartment my nephew had a marker in hand ready to draw on the wall. We caught him quickly, only one red line (and thankfully it was dry-erase) but after that blip of excitement, energy, and laughter, they left and I had no idea what to do with myself in the silence.

Well, that’s how I look at the first days of things. Excitement, nervousness and anxiety, sadness, and confusion. But, we get used to it and move ever forward to the next first day.

Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?

Courtesy of my sister, my family had some involvement in the local theater scene when I was growing up in Colorado in the late 90’s through early 00’s which saw combination of theater activities from school, church, and a non-profit summer youth program.

My sister was all over the place with it. Acting, stage and set management/direction, executive direction/production roles, and securing funding through grants. When our mom was still alive she helped with costumes.

Well, naturally, being younger siblings, my brother and I were brought along because mom had to keep an eye on us. Outside of the typical elementary school plays and choir performances, we ended up getting involved in theater a little bit as well. Myself more than my younger brother. When I got into high school I helped with set building and scene changes, script readings, etc.

However, all that being said, I didn’t really do any performances for audiences that weren’t my classmates. I did the occasional report speeches for English and History classes, and also one or two monologues for a theater-adjacent class. I was by no means terrible at any of it, but I didn’t do great either. Public speaking wasn’t my forte.

After college is a different story.

I’ve mentioned my brief stint of streaming here before (and it’s part of why I started the blog in the first place) and between that and my current job I’ve gotten much better and more comfortable with performance and public speaking.

Streaming helped me get better at ad-libbing and improv, as well as expose me to the stress/pressure that can come with suddenly being in front of an unseen audience of hundreds of people. It also helped me get better at speaking in front of people at work when on calls, especially during and after the pandemic when everyone was behind a camera (if they even had theirs on.) Now, I can give impromptu opening speeches on meetings when discussing processes and procedures, or even being brought in spur of the moment to stand in front of the camera in my managers office to explain a spreadsheet I made for our directors/VPs.

Okay, so that was a lot of back story and explanation. Now, a word of closing. The simple answer to the question is “Yes” but that doesn’t mean I 100% enjoy it. It still gets a bit nerve wrecking from time to time, but if I have to do it then I’m not afraid of the challenge.