How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

Short answer: Not enough.

I’ve talked about some of my goals previously, like losing weight/getting in shape/eating better and aiming to get a novel published. One of my problems is that I enjoy some of my hobbies so much that I prefer to do those instead.

Another problem, and one I see as having more impact on my decisions, is that I don’t always have the mental or physical bandwidth to work on those goals when I already dedicate quite a bit to my full-time job. The funny part of this is that I don’t really have a problem saying “no” to things at work!

It isn’t that I refuse to say “yes” to things at work, I’m just very conscious of the work my teammates and I do. Every “yes” and “no” is very calculated. I will bend over backwards to help my teammates because I know they would do (and have done) the same for me. We each bring to the table different skills, personalities, and work styles. I try to keep these things in mind every time I have to help them, even if it’s just to be a sounding board to bounce ideas off of because sometimes the situation they find themselves in requires a “no” and they struggle to accept that conclusion. The reason being that a couple of them will sometimes take on work that they aren’t responsible for and not ask for help from the rest of us or put the onus back on the appropriate team/individual who SHOULD be responsible for that work.”Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.” That kind of thing.

So, from a work perspective I say “no” plenty enough, but on an overall personal level I could stand to say it more often. Especially to myself.

I’m sure some armchair psychologist/psychiatrist behind a screen could stumble across this post and think they know exactly what is wrong with this picture, but I have a sneaking suspicion it isn’t that easy. (This means I’m not looking for unsolicited advice, thank you.) I bring this up because I see people on social media think they can do a self-diagnosis all the time, plus I was recently watching some videos on YouTube from Dr. K (HealthyGamerGG, in case anyone wants to look into it themselves.)