Yet another day where I have to come up with my own writing prompt because I’ve already answered the one provided! That’s okay, though, because that means I have to challenge myself with a little extra thinking about what I want to talk about.

As I was googling for writing prompts I stumbled on an image list with examples that gave me an idea. There were two in particular, not next to each other in the list but still related, that I thought might be fun to combine.

“What are five things you would like to do before you are 20 years old?” combined with “What do you think your life will be like when you are 30 years old?“

I’ve answered similar prompts before but I think I’ll twist it up a bit.

Did you get to do the things you wanted to do by the time you were 20? 25? 30? Etc.

The simple answer is no. There are tons of things that I wished I had done by various points in my life, but also so many of those things I feel like I learned about at the wrong time.

By the time I was 20 I was hoping to have moved out and started what used to be the stereotypical “college experience” of living on campus, meeting people and making friends that might become roommates when you’re no longer living in the dorms. Things like that.

I was still living and working at home (on the farm) until I was about 24. I moved out that year, living with friends for about five or six months, but was still working at home briefly until I finally landed an office job through my brothers. Ultimately, this period of my life, up through 25, felt like I was behind to a certain degree. I watched friends from college doing, more or less, the things I had hoped to be doing. Living in an apartment, working, doing fun things once in a while like occasionally going to the bars (drinking out is expensive, so not too often) or traveling for a short vacation. I did one thing, sort of, before 26, that was something I had hoped to do and that was go back to my home state (Colorado) of my own accord and on my own dollar. It was a short weekend vacation that I took to visit a friend (who moved there from South Dakota, where I met them and we went to college together) for their birthday. So, not all was “lost” in that regard.

Age 26 through 30 went much better, all things considered. I hadn’t expected to start this period of my life needing a major surgery and not having health insurance, followed by losing my job because the company didn’t renew our contracts, but that all happened, and helped spring me towards the direction of accomplishing some of those earlier things out of order.

Somewhere between 24 and 25 I had moved into my own apartment, by myself, but because of the cost of the surgery and insurance complications I had soon opted to move in with a friend from college that I had reconnected with the prior year. So, surgical debt, lost a job and started new one shortly after, which led to moving in with friends to help cut costs all around. Some of this happened only five years out of order from expectations, but hey, it happened eventually!

More things happened in that time before 30 that were closer to when I had hoped to experience them. Temporary gig work which helped get me into my current job, which is stable and has been a very good place to be long term. Making enough money to fund hobbies and enjoy new things, make new friends (which gets harder the older you get) and take brief staycations to play games or spend time with family. Still, all that aside, I didn’t meet anyone that I vibed with enough to start a solid romantic relationship with and explore the idea of starting a family. Another missed target.

From 31 until now, since I’m not sure what “accomplishments or experiences” I should be cutting off at 35, I have had some nice things happen. Still working the same job, still living with the same friend, learning new skills, making plenty of money for those hobbies AND I actually took a real vacation. Unfortunately, still no romantic prospects for me, but glad I’ve been able to watch other friends grow closer together and get married or start families.

So, while I’m not living the original stereotypical “American Dream”, I’m still slowly experiencing things that I hope for, just not always in the expected order. Looking at things from that angle, and then comparing my life to others, I am seeing the same thing for many others and accepting that my lived experience will be my own and shouldn’t be held to the same standards as others.