Tag: Life

What makes a quality friend?

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What quality do you value most in a friend?

Age really changes what we value in so many things, especially in different social climates/dynamics.

When I was a kid, I probably just valued friends I could hang out with because we had the same interests or hobbies. That didn’t change much when I got into my teens.

College and beyond is where things REALLY took a turn.

Heartache and betrayal in the arena of romance changes how you see people and interact with them. It changes what you value in people that you start to forge close relationships with (platonic and romantic alike). We may be going down different paths, meeting new people and getting into different hobbies at this time. Trust and loyalty became incredibly important through most of my twenties because of some of these things. I won’t go into the nitty gritty details of my love life, but suffice to say that there were some ladies that may have cheated or just not been completely honest about their feelings, and the latter applied to platonic friendships as well.

Talking about my thirties now (and I shudder to think that I’m only a few years away from the cusp of 40) I still value trust and loyalty, but I prioritize myself and certain other things differently so that I have more room for forgiveness, because people make mistakes. As long as something isn’t done maliciously and I didn’t put myself in a position to be hurt, I can be flexible and forgive a lot easier. Other things that I value that have come up in these recent years are communication and transparency.

In my mind these four values of trust, loyalty, communication, and transparency (as well as some others that can be tossed in without mention) can all be wrapped up into a singular package value: Respect.

To be clear, when I talk about trust and loyalty, or respect, my friends don’t “owe” me anything and vice versa, so I don’t demand respect be given without respect being returned. I just try to live by that Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Respect me and I’ll respect you.

A variety of working environments

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What jobs have you had?

Technically I’ve been working for about 20 years now, and in that time I’ve worked in about six or seven different environments across 10 or so jobs.

I’ve done farm work, outside in the hot and cold weather throughout the year, usually at home/on-premises, but sometimes involving travel (from local hay auctions to interstate animal transportation.)

I’ve been in retail environments a few times but under very different circumstances. The static environment of a small strip mall video game store, the dynamic environment traveling to different small retail locations within a 50 mile radius of home to install display equipment, and the varied overnights of throwing truckloads of product for big box retail.

There have also been a couple food service jobs, as well as the hodge podge amalgamation of work I did at a truck stop (convenience store retail, fuel, food service, AND hospitality all rolled in one.)

But the one that has taken up the majority of my work life has been office work in IT departments. I’m coming close to accumulating about half of my time working in this area. I’ve stayed local for one job, and another I’ve traveled to locations halfway across the state.

Looking back on my work history, I’ve been through a lot, and I’m always reminded that it was through all those different jobs that I forged my opinions of how people “should” experience life and work to develop a sense of empathy. Too many people take for granted the life they have and don’t respect people they deem beneath them, especially when they’re reaping the benefits of others hard work.

Be kind to each other out there.

Personal beliefs, faith, and practice of religion

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Do you practice religion?

What a potentially divisive prompt.

I have no intention of causing confusion or making anyone feel attacked for/doubt in their personal beliefs. They are yours, and these are mine.

That being said, to answer the prompt directly, do I PRACTICE religion? No. Practicing religion often requires active participation in a church and regularly reading the Bible and trying to live by the lessons written inside. I do neither of those things. If that’s all the information you care about, stop reading here. If you’re interested in reading more about how I see the world, read on at the risk of being upset.

The reason I do not practice can be boiled down to some simple sentiments, but this may require lots of explanation.

There’s nothing wrong with believing in something greater than yourself, something that is beyond you and your control. What IS wrong is accountability and blame in the world. This part is attributable to human leadership as much as spiritual beings of a higher nature. You cannot claim that someone’s vision is the reason that good things happen and reward them for it while also denying that anything wrong that happens is also their fault.

We also cannot sit on our hands, so to speak, and hope/wish/pray/gossip about something trying to get a better outcome without actively doing something to participate in the achievement of that outcome when there has been thousands of years of evidence that actions speak louder than words. However, the issue here isn’t just about “talking about something instead of doing something” and more about recognizing the fact that “talking about something IS doing something, but was talking really all that productive?” (Regardless of which branch of faith you prescribe to, if you say you are “the hands of God” then actually BE those hands doing something and not just acting like a mouth piece. That’s someone else’s job.)

I’ve more or less baked this all into my personal belief of “Do unto others as you would have done unto you” which I’ve talked about before. I would like to add more on top of that post as it relates to today’s prompt, as well as more detail to why I mentioned not going to church. I don’t like the idea that people can go to church one day a week for maybe an hour or two, pretending to be good and pious/devout individuals, and then go out into the world and be hateful, spiteful, greedy assholes. That’s not how it works. Unless I’m mistaken, attending church is not a free pass to sin the rest of the time.

We cannot claim to be good people while continuing to treat others with disdain and hate. No amount of fake piety makes up for the continued prejudice we have in the world today.

We cannot reward decision makers for their successes while turning a blind eye/assigning blame elsewhere for their failures. Accountability needs to be upheld at all levels, no matter how painful it may seem, because that’s the only way we can learn to be better than who we were yesterday.

Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

My life before the internet

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Daily writing prompt
Do you remember life before the internet?
View all responses

From a technical perspective the internet came before I did, but The Internet that I know was still not very wide reaching or mainstream until I hit middle school.

My life before the internet was a substantial chunk of my childhood. It was mostly filled with cartoons, video games, lots of hand-me-down LEGOs with some new ones, and plenty of running around outside with friends. There were no cell phones for the most part, so definitely no smart phones, which meant we didn’t have computers in our pockets that could connect to us to anyone and everyone across the world. I relied on having a phone book or memorizing a few numbers for friends. GameStop wasn’t around yet, but we did have a Game Force store. I remember the days I could ride my bike down there to spend a couple hours checking out all the new and used games, and even play some for a bit.

Even up until the end of middle school and beginning of high school, when the internet was blossoming into the early stages of what it would become today, I didn’t use it too much. At least, not for what it gets used for today with all the social media sites and “influencer’s” that have come to prominence in the last decade.

Life before the internet was simpler, and in certain ways, much quieter.

Got skills?

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What are you good at?

I’ve never been one for sports, so I’m not particularly good at any of them. That being said, I’m usually good with hand eye coordination and visualizing space around me.

Outside of that oddity (I really should do some kind of sport) I am fairly good at puzzles. Not jigsaw puzzles, mind you, but more like escape room puzzles. I haven’t done one of these IRL in a while, since they cost money for a single play and you usually need a group, but I have played a lot of Escape Simulator on the computer.

There are also the world-based puzzle/exploration games that I like to play and think I’m fairly good at, but I’m not perfect and will admit having used hints/tips to get through on occasion.

Having it all

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What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?

Fame. Fortune. Perfect health. An amazing spouse and an awesome house. Those things probably came to mind for most of us at first when we read the prompt, but I feel there’s more.

Let’s answer that second question first. The simple answer is “no” we cannot “have it all”. I’ll talk about why I think that later.

“Having it all” to me means being able to have everything your heart desires and then more.

All those things in life you see that make your mind say “I wish” or “I want” (even in the smallest, faintest voice that you don’t consciously register) are part of the problem.

I wish the weather would clear up.

I wish this thing I really want to buy was discounted.

I want to spend time with my friends/family.

The reason I throw those examples out first is to show a little bit of where my mind drifts towards after the most common thoughts. It would be amazing to have all the material things and money we want, but life would also feel a little empty if we didn’t have family and friends to spend time with.

Time is probably the real key here. The reason none of this is ultimately possible is because there simply isn’t enough time, and when our time expires we can’t take anything with us. “Having it all” would mean, to me, also being able to live forever, and that’s something we can’t do.

Catching up or checking in

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Who would you like to talk to soon?

I was going to write that I’d like to talk to my Dad soon, but then I got interrupted several times throughout the day, and eventually he ended up surprising me by calling first.

So, yeah, guess I should pick someone else. Probably my brother. I’ll be visiting him this weekend at some point so that’s easy enough to do. It’ll be good to catch up with him a bit.

Precious belongings

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What personal belongings do you hold most dear?

I am conflicted on how to respond to questions like this. On one side I try to live in a way that isn’t overly materialistic, and on the other I try to treat everything I own with the same degree of respect.

This leads me down a mental path of sometimes feeling like things are replaceable and that people might think poorly of that attitude. I’m not made of money, so it’s not like I CAN just replace anything and everything I have on a whim, which is why I try to take care of what I have so I don’t need to replace anything, but these two mindsets kind of come together to respect that sometimes shit happens and I shouldn’t be upset if something breaks or goes missing.

All of this is to say that I don’t get overly attached to any particular personal belongings.

Cardboard crack collection

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Do you have any collections?

I’m not really a collector in the sense that I will go out of my way to have a complete set of something, but I have spent more than I should have on Magic: The Gathering cards.

To start in the simplest way, there are two methods of collecting those cards. Buying them individually, or buying packaged products. I’ve done both, but I LOVE opening booster packs. It’s the only form of “gambling” I frequently partake in because I still get something even if I don’t get what I want or something I really hope to get.

I don’t want to talk about specific dollar amounts spent on this hobby, but I do want to make it clear that my collection is not just for show. I have way too many cards, and while the vast majority of my cards sit in boxes waiting to maybe someday be sorted, I do have a lot sitting in easy to reach places ready for me to use.

The lasting legacy of the unknown

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What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

Billions of people have lived and died on this planet, and so long as we collectively do not fuck it up there will be billions upon billions more. How many of them are remembered? How many eventually fade from memory and go forgotten? Stories untold and never to be known.

Life is a complicated, complex, multifaceted mess, and yet we all have two things in common. We are born, and we will die. (Okay, yes, we have a LOT more in common but hear me out.)

We grow up wanting and collecting things throughout life, yet when we die we take nothing with us. If there is any sort of legacy that I want to leave behind that is within my power to control it is this: I do not want to leave a mess for someone else to clean up. Sure, in the grand scheme of things if I’m going to be forgotten then it should eventually not have mattered at all. That doesn’t mean I don’t care. If my actions in life can inspire others to care in the same way, then we’ll have made less problems for future generations. Otherwise, if I didn’t care, and billions of others didn’t either, the world that we inherited would have been more fucked and we would only continue to contribute to making it worse.

Well, all that being said, if there is something I want to leave behind as a lasting legacy in the hopes of being remembered for hundreds of generations, I’d hope it’s something that people will look upon fondly. Maybe a book or two that have some kind of profoundly positive impact on the world. Barring that, because the odds are overwhelmingly against that, I just don’t want someone cleaning up after me and any mistakes I’ve made in the past or will make in the years to come. To go peacefully into the unknown after having lived well without impeding anyone else’s life.