Florida Man successfully raided Area 51

This post is a 50-word writing challenge that was requested of me from my stream as a Channel Point Reward redemption, courtesy of Twitch user BoneBoi51n5.

The original prompt request was rather long, so I shortened to something more manageable for a title.

Original Prompt: Area 51, the capitol, you’ve raided their secrets, at great cost to your sanity, you have achieved ultimate power… You are Florida Man.

I fuckin’ KNEW IT! I told everyone and nobody would listen!

Well, fuck ‘em. It took a lot of work but I proved them wrong.

Everyone doubted I could get into Area 51. But I showed them! I stole it ALL!

Now I alone control the aliens through my squirrels!

Educational Note: For anyone reading this that’s not aware, “Florida Man” is a meme about the wild and unbelievable news stories that come out of Florida. It’s not just that everyone living there teaches their pet crocodiles to ride 4-wheelers, or stabbing each other with squirrels over a petty squabble. State and Local governments of Florida operate under the “Sunshine” Law, which (in brief terms) increases government transparency by making all records public as soon as they are available. This includes making arrest records available to the public, which is where the “Florida Man” gets its outrageous origins. According to the text of the law itself, there ARE exceptions, but otherwise almost nothing is locked up behind bureaucracy and red tape. There, that’s a thing a you know now. Have a great day!