When a child’s dream takes flight

What is one of my earliest childhood memories?

DayOne

This prompt immediately sparked a memory to come flying up out of the depths of my mind, and I couldn’t help but want to share it.

I must have been two or three years old at the time, and my family lived in a town called Castlerock. Surprisingly enough, despite how long ago this was (over 30 years), I still have a few semi-solid memories, but there is one that involved a little toy helicopter that I feel like I’ll never fully forget. Looking back on it, I know that part of it was a dream I had, and I’m not sure how the lines of dream and reality blurred, but I had experienced something that in hindsight obviously could not have happened.

This little toy helicopter I had is probably impossible to find now, but I can remember some of the key characteristics fairly well. The body of it was clear plastic so you could see the inner working and had a red plastic propeller. As I recall, it was a wind-up toy that could spin the propeller fairly quickly.

Now, there are two important pieces to this memory. As I mentioned earlier, there is a dream portion. In the dream I was able to make the little helicopter fly, and it went down the hall and into my bedroom. From there the line blurs. I remember being so excited that something like this could have happened, and I took the little toy and ran to my older brother wanting to show him. I wound it up the same as I had done before and when the propeller started to spin I held it out, my hand flat, to proudly show him. But it didn’t take off. So I tried to toss it into the air, only to watch it tumble to the floor. I tried at least once more before my brother got bored and walked away uninterested in the wild imagination of a toddler.

Sadly, I never again saw that little toy helicopter fly under it’s own power in my dreams, but what surprises me most about this whole scenario is that it’s not just the earliest memory I have, but it’s likely the first dream I ever had that I could remember in any capacity.

Bloganuary 20th: Dreams of going pro as an author

Bloganuary writing prompt
What’s your dream job?

Super simple question for me today! I can get behind that when I’m getting sucked into playing the hottest new early access game.

My dream job has changed a couple of times between childhood and adulthood. Today, it is becoming a professional author and being able to support myself on that kind of income.

I’m working on bettering my daily habits to write consistently, like answering these daily prompts. I’m over 100 days in a row of writing every day, and I’m getting used to the idea that it is okay to put less important things aside to focus on writing if I hope to improve my habits and reach that goal. Hopefully, someday, I can publish something and be successful enough to quit my job and keep writing. Then my days would be wildly different! I’d have MORE time to do the things I want to do in tandem with writing, because I would end up substituting time spent working in an office with time spent writing.

I know I can do it if I stick with it, and I know I can keep up with writing demands if I look at the results of my NaNoWriMo 2023 daily word tracking. It is completely possible for me to write 300k+ words per year. I just have to dig in and go for it.

Long-term planning is not my forte

What will your life be like in three years?

I’m going to be honest, I suck at planning my future. I struggle to plan where I’ll be one year from now, let alone three or even five. The best I ever did was “I’m going to work for my current employer for at least seven years.” And now I’m almost at eight. So, go me for that plan!

But if I had to jot down some things I would like to have happen I can do that. I just won’t be in the “will be” camp. Can’t be too certain and I don’t like to plan for disappointment on major life events.

Anyways, where I would like to be or things I would like to have happen in the next three years? Let’s get a list going.

  • Own a home
  • Publish a novel
  • Have my student loans paid off/forgiven (this is part of that “work for seven years” deal. Working for a nonprofit. Three years to go for the ten year requirement or whatever)
  • Maybe meet someone and start a romantic relationship
  • Visit friends in other States and Countries
  • Find and purchase that motorcycle I really wanted (2015 Yamaha Bolt C-Spec, green)
  • Maybe publish a second novel, while I’m at it

Do I have plans to accomplish any of these things? Not particularly. I start things and get sidetracked or something comes up that alters my course. So far the closest things I could see happening are owning a home and publishing a novel. (Doing NaNoWriMo this year for a change. One week in and I’m at 13,640 words!)

So there you go, stuff to aim for in the next three years.

Daydreams of being young again

Before I jump into today’s prompt I want to set the stage a bit. Do you have children in your life? Your own? A siblings kids? Students? Take a moment and reflect on how they might see the world.

Now…

What does it mean to be a kid at heart?

Consider the perspectives of children. The way they see the world around them, how it makes them feel to learn and experience new things on their own or with friends. As we get older those feelings get smaller, maybe not totally forgotten, but they exist in an ever growing sea of emotions and memories, and they become more difficult to tap into again. That sense of wonder and amazement? Sure, we can still get that through books and movies, but it isn’t totally the same. That carefree nature and desire to have fun? Oftentimes replaced by understanding and expectations of the world. Replaced by the obligations of growing up and becoming an adult (whatever that means anymore.)

To get back to that way of living is nearly impossible for most people, but it can be done.

For myself, it all boils down to letting go of the fear and anxiety caused by the idea that I could be judged or tarnish my image for doing something I find fun that others might find embarrassing. Are you like me and you’re comfortable singing along in the car but you would never be caught doing it in public? It’s kind of like that.

Take a moment and think that over. What would it mean to you to do something fun that others might find embarrassing? Maybe it’s like popping in your earbuds, jamming to music and dancing a little bit as you exit the elevator at work?

Let go of the fear of embarrassment. Dance, skip, sing, talk passionately about the things you like, just do SOMETHING that might lead back down that path of feeling carefree and young at heart. And then when you get there chase that sense of excitement, of wonder and amazement. Have fun without being judged.

Of course, do it responsibly. Don’t go dancing on top of a cop car, or something equally wild.

I wish for …

You have three magic genie wishes, what are you asking for?

I have so many ideas for what kinds of things I could wish for, some in groups because their impacts are contingent on one another. I’m not going to share those, since some of them could be Earth shatteringly important to the balance of the Cosmos.

Instead, here are some fun ones!

  • I wish I could safely hop in and out of the stories I read so I can experience them as if I were really there.
  • I wish I could consume any form of media and choose to consume it again without losing the sense of wonder and magic I felt the first time around. So that every time is like the first. I’d make sure it isn’t as simple as “forget the first time so the next one feels like the first all over again.” I would want to remember those previous iterations so I could explore a new direction each time and not feel dwindling returns of excitement or joy. I would be able to play through games like Elden Ring or The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom multiple times and not feel bored or burned out. I’d probably set some rules on this wish so I don’t get stuck in a loop.
    • The previous wish could be modified for any activity that someone enjoys should they want to feel that same first time thrill all over again, though I would recommend serious consideration of self-imposed rules or restrictions to prevent overconsumption. We are only human after all.
  • Sometimes I also wish I could live a greatly extended life just so I could read every book, play every game, etc. I have a fascination with wonder where technology is going and I want to be able to see what is made a hundred or more years from now. This one wish I’ve put some thought into and kept in my pocket because depending on how long you choose to live (if you don’t wish to live forever) you will inevitably watch all your friends and family expire. What kind of impact would that have on the human mind? To live so long that you could basically lose your attachment to the world? For myself, I think I could handle it for a couple of generations, but I’d not want to live longer than that.

Anyways, there you go. Did I spark any ideas for you?

For Lunar Glory

There are many things in this life that I would pay a lot of money to do, to see, to experience just once if at all. If it could be afforded.

Going to the moon? Not really top of the list. I’d have to say not even in the top 20.

How much would you pay to go to the moon?

But if I did get the chance?

I am conflicted. Not because I would or wouldn’t want to based on price, but rather because of the risks and ramifications of such a trip.

Safety would be paramount. If I were paying a LOT of money, I’d expect to get there in one piece with no risk of catastrophic failures.

I’d also like to be able to come home. We can’t exactly live on the moon. I’m sure that carries a hefty price tag as well.

How long would we be staying there? Are we just going up there to land, put on space suits, hop around a bit, and then come home? I’m sure with our current level of technology that is still quite the feat and makes for a once in a lifetime experience, but I’m not paying hundreds of millions of dollars to waste a day or two of my life traveling in a rocket propelled coffin just to hop around the surface of the moon for a few minutes.

Now….all that being said….if the trip were free, and there was a 100% success rate of reaching destination but 0% survival rate? I’d probably consider that as part of my funerary service. Just, shoot my corpse up there to rest in peace until humanity decides to build a permanent structure on the surface on par with Mars Vegas from Futurama, or the sprawling city structure of Mars seen in Bravest Warriors.

Maybe by then they’ll have technology to resurrect my dumb ass when they find me again.

Oh well. I can dream.

Taking on new ventures

What’s the biggest risk you’d like to take — but haven’t been able to?

There are two things that I have wished I could do for a living. Streaming full-time, or becoming a full-time writer putting out books for the rest of my life.

Some people look at streamers, particularly the most popular ones that make a lot of money every year, and think “all they’re doing is playing games all day, that’s easy, I could do that!” I was one of those people at first but before I jumped in to try my hand at it, I made sure to connect with smaller streamers (some of them I’m still friends with even after I stopped streaming) because then I could get better interactions and responses to understand what they were doing. I could see the toll it takes on some of them (when they publicly shared that information) and saw the way their faces could light up with a shot of instant gratification when someone would donate/tip or subscribe. The things I’ve learned along the way tell me that if I really wanted to do it, I would have to put in so much more effort than I could muster to try and build everything up, from the equipment to the audience, just to even be able to take the risk of quitting my job and making that leap. So for now, that’s a back burner hobby that I don’t do very often anymore.

So the other option is writing for a living. By comparison, this one is much easier to accomplish long term because it would be less taxing mentally and emotionally. Where streaming would require tons of “on” time for being engaging, writing can be done at my own pace and will have sporadic levels of engagement with other people. That being said, writing DOES cone with its own problems. It’s a much more “solo” enterprise if you consider that when you write you’re doing it by yourself. You’re in your own head, typically without interacting with others. Streaming is kind of the opposite because your head and mind are in a different place, and you have constant interaction with tons of people who are all yelling (typing) to be heard and seen, cheering for your wins and laughing at your digital hardships. With writing you sometimes have to be your own cheerleader. Nobody will laugh or jeer in real time to the things you’re doing. Which is okay! Aside from all of that, the risk with writing is that you can put in so much effort and not see any sort of return for years, if at all, while trying the different publishing routes. I wouldn’t be able to quit my job to shift to writing full-time unless I had landed a publishing deal. Which I obviously don’t have at this time, but maybe someday!

Mario versus Reploids

Pulling aside the curtain in my room I saw the sun was shining onto my bed at the perfect angle. So I took a mid-day sun nap!

The dreams I had were definitely strange but this is the one that stands out the most and stuck with me. Everyone should be familiar with Mario, so no introductions needed there, but I have a feeling you’re reading this and wondering what the heck a Reploid is (or you’re googling it.) Reploids come from the Mega Man universe of games and they’re sentient androids. Free will and morals and such, which means its possible for evil Reploids. There’s a lot of backstory to them so I’ll spare that and let you do the research if you’re curious.

Anyway, on to the dream! I give you Mario versus Reploids.

Mario and his brother (not quite sure it was Luigi) were on a quest for revenge against these robots that looked like they came from the Mega Man Zero/ZX portion of the Mega Man franchise so I assumed they’re Reploids. To fight them, Mario and his brother created their own version of Bowser’s clown car but it looked like a mushroom crossed with Mario’s head. Mario decided to pick a fight with one of the lead Reploids and its assistant and pretended to get his ass kicked. As a result of this ass kicking Mario got sent off the edge of this castle and into the water where he swam around to the far edge to get a view of the enemy. The Reploid, assuming Mario was defeated and likely drowning, sends a Cyber Elf (that looked like a pink version of the butterfly from the Persona franchise) with a piece of its energy to collect Mario’s life essence but Mario crushed it when it reached him. The Reploid assumed that it just went out of range and expired.

As the Reploid was thinking this, it stepped on a switch hidden in the muddy water of the castle courtyard. Mario and his brother had earlier placed a bunch out there to trigger a massive onslaught of bombs that would start flying out of nowhere. The first switch gets stepped on and lights up, causing a moment of confusion for the lead Reploid. As the bombs came flying in the Reploid took a few panicky foot steps, triggering more switches and therefore more bombs.The bombs came flying in like a hail storm and obliterated that part of the castle. Eventually the assistant, whose ‘skin’ disintegrates and we see the robot skeleton inside, collapsed in defeat. The Reploid leader tried to escape when suddenly these shooting stars come flying in from above. (If you’re familiar with the Paper Mario franchise it looked like the shooting stars attack from one of those games.)

As the Reploid leader kept taking hits from the stars it tried to queue a final attack when Mario (in his Mario themed clown car) comes flying into view holding a small version of Saturn that he uses in place of the stars and just destroyed the arm of the robot before continuing his barrage of star shots. The Reploid eventually succumbed to the damage and Mario won. Landing the clown car, Mario stepped out and stroked his long beard for a moment before his brother arrives and they go back to their sky lair to view the city/state and track down the next Reploid leader.

Thanks for reading! I need to lay off the sugar before sleep.

Robot Clones and an Existential Crisis

First, a preface.

I have a tendency to remember my dreams after I wake up, but I almost never write down the details. So, what I’m hoping I can do is start writing down as much of my dreams as I can recall the day they happen. Start keeping a sort of Dream Journal here. So, here goes.


I was on vacation. Nowhere in particular that I can recall. The only important things I can remember of the setting are that I’m staying at some sort of resort near a beach.

As more of the state of the dream comes into focus I notice that I’m on vacation with a couple of friends, but that these friends are nondescript. They aren’t anyone I recognize from real life, but the general vibe they give off is that we are good friends and this situation is totally normal.

My friends and I go down to the beach to wander and kill some time. After a short walk we encounter a group of people that appear to be of the same age range. We start talking to them and getting to know each other, and as the conversations carry on the now larger group decides that it’s getting late into the sunset hours and we carry on chatting as we walk back to the resort.

Throughout all the talking, I’ve been primarily listening to see how well our two groups are getting along and make sure that things stay amicable. However, I’m learning a couple of things here and there, noticing the things that these particular friends are saying and that I don’t really appreciate the statements they’re putting out. These friends who started out as nondescript gain more detail, and I recognize them as friends I had in the past that I no longer considered friends. I end up excusing myself from the two groups that have become one, and I return to my room alone. That’s when the dream turns sideways.

The evening has come, and I’m hungry, so I decide to head out alone for dinner. The only thing is, there’s now SNOW on the ground. I’m not sure how, but I’m not at the resort anymore. It being a dream, and dreams lacking coherency, I’m not concerned by this change.

The evening progresses. I’ve eaten dinner and I’m wandering home. Home? Weird dream, guess I’m not on vacation anymore, but whatever. On my trek home I stumble across a body in the snow. It’s one of the friends I left behind earlier in the day, but somethings not quite right about this situation. I find a metal bar nearby and use it to help me investigate, rather than do the smart thing and call for help and report a fucking BODY.

My investigation of the dead body of my past friend yields some interesting results. Somehow I am able to discern there isn’t any blood in the body, and the skin now has some level of translucency to it that allows me to see what appears to be mechanical and artificial components. Apparently, the body is a robotic replica of the friend, or so it would lead me to believe.

I give up further investigation and turn to leave with my metal bar in hand. As I’m leaving I run into a woman who appears familiar, but I can’t place where I’ve met her before. When she steps into the light of a nearby streetlamp I notice a similar level of translucency in her skin as to what I had found in the body of my friend. It dawns on me that this person is involved in what is going on here and I begin to grow uneasy as she approaches. The closer she gets, the tighter my grip on the bar gets.

This robotic woman stops out of reach and gives a quick explanation of what I’m seeing. There is some sort of revolution going on, with people being presented with the opportunity to be replaced by synthetic clones of themselves. The whole scenario is deeply unsettling, but I’m too confused to notice the rest of my emotions. There are two options. Join, or die. I stammer that I need time to think it through, to which she agrees, but now that I am aware of the truth I cannot be allowed too much time. She tries to reassure me that the process is harmless and goes into a little more detail. They extract the majority of blood from the body to use as a sort of conduit for transferring the consciousness of the original body to the new synthetic one. None of this makes sense, its all too sudden, but it’s made worse with her final statement. A reminder, that should I choose to not join, I will die.

I stumble away in shock and find my way home. Pacing in my room and taking peeks out my window into the darkness. I notice movement and realize that the synthetic woman is out there. Ice cold despair wraps itself around my chest. I turn off the lights and hide behind the curtains to try and see more into the darkness. More people are ever so slowly approaching. The grip on my heart tightens, as I have not made a decision. Do I choose my own death, or do I choose what could be immortality all the while still uncertain if I would still be “me” in the new body. The dream ends there…


 

Most of my dreams are bizarre, so I never read too deeply into them, but some of them (like this one) still leave me saying “What the fuck?”

Hopefully you enjoyed it, even if it didn’t make sense.